I was humming the other day Glee's version of Only Exception when I realized something. Maybe, just maybe there is such a thing as believing in falling inlove again. Sure I'm in a relationship now, just recently as a matter of fact, but I hate to admit that I haven't said the L word yet and I don't think I will anytime soon. Quite honestly, I am enjoying the singleness I have. That not worrying about someone else's feelings if I played in the circle. That I can flirt with my office mate and not feel bad about it..or go on dates on weekends without considering other people's feelings on it...
But then again, I AM single...atleast not until he comes home and pops the question and then maybe, just maybe I'll straighten up. LOL
Monday, October 4, 2010
♥I want to know.
♥I have my own reservations. Yes, when I was younger I’d go with the main conclusion that as long as we agreed on being together as a couple and do what couples do, then yes, we are in a relationship. But after my traumatic relationship with my gay-user-not-up-to-no-good ex boyfriend, things have made a 360° for almost everything I believed in. Or thought I believed in. Among them I’d say is being in a relationship.
A few years back I went out with Dennis. He was older than me by several years. At first it started out to be a real online friendship before it became a serious relationship which lasted for a couple of years as well.Then I met Kai, now my ex-girlfriend as well. Things pretty got screwed when I went for ms. gay philippines after.
♥And just before the weekend, while Dennis and I were online it just happened. We've been keeping in touch even then that I was in a relationship with my exes. So its no surprise he knows what had been going on since 2005. Anyhu, when he said he was staying with me when he gets here in January it got me thinking. Pretty assertive eh? And with how our messages where being thrown from one screen to another, I had to ask him if we were exclusive. He said yes unless "I" had others. I had to make it clear that he was actually getting involved with me (again) for the record. He said yes.
♥Well, I refuse to change my facebook status from single to in a relationship with. Told him I won't change it till he changes his status first. Nothing wrong with that. Just don't wanna initiate it.
♥The odd thing is, my heart didn't beat like I just run a triathlon around MOA. My head didn't spin like being in a roller coaster backward. I didn't broadcast to all or sms send to all that I'm happily involved with someone again. Hmmm....and honestly, I don't think I'm inlove. Or near the idea of it, anyways. Have I grown numb for all the hurt I had to go thru? Had I been masked by the fear of really being able to feel the glorious sensations of being in love? I could only shrug.
♥What if this relationship comes to end with us being husband and wife for convenience sake. For the purpose that were both not getting any younger and that it benefits both of us? What if?
♥So, tell me, how would you define a real relationship?